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It's Time To Play The Music... At Last - July - 2005

For my money, The Muppet Show is possibly the best television programme ever made.
Certainly one of the top three. And yet, apart from a daily lunchtimeslot on cable/satellite channel Nick
Jr a few years ago, the most notable thing about the show in recent years has been its complete absence
from British TV screens. It's well over 20 years since any episodes were shown on a terrestrial channel.
But salvation is at hand, with the wonderful news that the first season is to be released on Region 1 DVD
on 9 August, with hopefully the other four seasons to follow.

It's hard to imagine a more universally appealing programme than The Muppet Show. Neither a children's
show that adults can appreciate (like Sesame Street), or a show for adults that children also enjoy (like
The Simpsons), The Muppet Show is a programme for everyone. The premise is almost too simple to be
true. Scooter, a gopher, has an uncle who owns a theatre, so he and his untalented but enthusiastic
friends put on a variety show. The master of chaotic ceremonies is Kermit The Frog, an amphibian on the
verge of a nervous breakdown. Kermit is one of televisions true comedy greats. Always professional onstage, backstage he's a neurotic bundle of frayed nerves, on a constant rollercoaster of emotion, as he struggles
against all odds to keep the show going and the human guest star happy in the face of numerous and bizarre obstacles. One minute the reluctant subject of singing sensation Miss Piggy's romantic affections, the next
on the receiving end of her considerable karate skills, the next the victim of one of Professor Bunsen
Honeydew's malfunctioning inventions, the next dealing with a marauding gang of Mexican bandit chickens
- but Kermit's leadership of this motley troupe never falters. His status is confirmed by the personalised
coffee cup on his desk - even though it's just an old china cup that he's written his name on.

Among the acts introduced by Kermit and his wildly flailing arms is Fozzie Bear, a hopeless stand-up
comedian who is inevitably reduced to despair by the heckling of Waldorf and Statler, two old folks
who come to the show night after night despite hating every second of it, simply because the alternative,
staying at home, would be worse. Another favourite is Gonzo, an unidentified hook-nosed creature who
performs hair-brained stunts on stage, such as eating tyres, catching cannonballs and fighting wild animals.
The rest of television is only just catching up to Gonzo, with the likes of the hilarious Jackass (and the
crass and humourless Dirty Sanchez).

Other regular highlights are "Pigs In Space", a kind of porcine Star Trek featuring Miss Piggy and Captain
Link Hogthrob, a pig whose ego is matched in size only by his chin, and who has the funniest voice EVER,
and "Veterinarian's Hospital", a daytime soap opera starring Rowlf the dog as a surgeon whose patients' sole purpose is to be the butt of his terrible jokes.

The show maintained such a high standard throughout its 5-year run that it's almost impossible to pick
favourite episodes. There was the Steve Martin episode, in which the show is cancelled so that Kermit
can audition new acts; the Star Wars episode in which Luke Skywalker and friends must face the evil
Darth Nadir ("will we ever learn the true identity of Darth Nadir?" wonder our heroes; "The world will
never know!" exclaims Nadir, turning slightly to reveal a distinctive hook-nosed mask); the episode where
the scheduled guest star doesn't turn up so writer Chris Langham steps in; the list is endless.

The Muppet Show harks back to a time before every imaginable genre had its own channel, and before the
current scheduling fascism took hold and demanded that, for example, a comedy programme has to be shown
in "the Friday night comedy hour" at 9pm on BBC2. It's almost impossible to imagine The Muppet Show being
made today, and perhaps this explains its continued absence from our screens - it's so hard to classify and pigeonhole, nobody knows where to put it.

by hartley
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